Performing with Heart
(or Why I Don’t Take INDERAL) – Part 1

Posted by Karen Rajan Category: Category 1

A couple years ago I was auditing a masterclass by a famous flutist. One of the performers asked a question about using Inderal for performance anxiety (stage fright!). The teacher admonished “oh, just don’t go there!” The conservatory students sitting behind me bitterly whispered “…. doesn’t understand, if I don’t use it and everyone else does, I’m at an unfair disadvantage “.

I got it. I felt deep compassion for the students, especially since most all of my own colleagues use the beta blocker for their nerves. I too thought it was unfair to condemn a practice without offering an alternative. I kept thinking of all the techniques I had learned to transform nervousness. But these techniques are not ‘instant fixes’ and take time to master. They need to be taught from the beginning; in grade school; from our parents! The good news though is that they can help at any stage and are simple to learn.

But why go to all this bother?

A few years ago I founded a group called ‘Dancing Heart’. Our mission was/is to perform concerts that uplift- TRANSFORM audiences as well as performers. But one big question I had to face was ‘ How can I TRANSFORM my audience if I can’t even TRANSFORM my own fear? What am I really sharing if I’m shaking and full of anxiety?” I was compelled to find a solution (s). “Why, you ask, don’t you just take Inderal? Everyone else does.” I had tried the drug years before and found that it not only suppressed my ‘fight or flight’ symptoms but it suppressed my ‘uplifting’ feelings as well. My experience of playing ‘under the influence ‘ was flat and uninspiring. If the music did not elicit any kind of excitement for me, how could it possibly do so for my audiences? I decided at that time that I’d rather be nervous than dull and began a very serious quest for an organic solution